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alyssa

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about luxe. [November 5th, 2006]
i'm a self-proclaimed music junkie. and movies. anything about entertainment, i'm there. style network and a bag of popcorn is a great date. i spend more time alone on my couch with my television than i'd ever like to admit. i don't need someone to explain my loneliness, it's self-induced. i don't consider it a bad thing, but sometimes i wish there was someone here. i find all the wrong reasons to push people away, and hope against hope someone would tell me to stay.

i have big hopes, even bigger dreams. i wish the world was a better place. i'd do (almost) anything to be recognized. i want to be a writer. a published writer. i want to make a difference. in a million lives, in just one life. any number would be enough.

i've never claimed perfection of any sort. i can't express myself in the ways i wish i could, i can't walk in heels. i've hurt friends in the past, i've been hurt by friends. i cry over almost anything, happy or sad. my nose crinkles slightly when i smile.. and that's not perfection. but i could be flawless in the way i love if someone would give me that chance.

i can memorize lines like it's going out of style. i secretly wish my friends were the characters from the cast of grey's anatomy. i wish i had a boyfriend just like george (he's the cutest!) i smoke, not very often, but i do smoke. i don't drink, i don't do drugs. "i'm high on life!" i will remember the details you wish i'd forget and sometimes my train of thought isn't exactly on track. at least, not correctly.

maybe i'm not the lush everyone wants to read about. maybe there isn't much drama in my life, at least not on the surface. but the on-going internal battle we each face everyday is something intriguing, and you should stick around to hear my story. if you weren't curious, why would you continue reading these words of mine?

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